


Being Alone

by immortalbibitch



Category: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, F/F, Fluff and Angst, This is for you lodge twitter, colleagues to friends to lovers, mainly angst tho
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-01
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:00:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,376
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28485009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/immortalbibitch/pseuds/immortalbibitch
Summary: Tissaia has been alone before, but it's never felt quite like it does now.
Relationships: Tissaia de Vries/Vanielle of Brugge
Comments: 13
Kudos: 14





	Being Alone

**Author's Note:**

> Because my tl has been filled with Tissaia and Vanielle so I decided to write something for them because I can and loving women with less than 10 seconds of screentime is 99% of my personality

Tissaia was alone.

It was a new sensation, one that she hadn’t experienced in centuries now, and she found that she didn’t like it anymore. 

When she was young she had enjoyed it, back when those moments of solitude were the only quiet moments she could achieve in a household with four brothers screaming over each other to gain their parents’ attention for a few treasured seconds and a baby sister who stole whatever time could have been spared for her.

Under Klara Larissa de Winter there had been nothing but a wall to separate her from the incessant noise coming from her fellow students and Tissaia had found solace from the loud chattering of Jada Glevissig and Yiolenta Suarez in the library, where the only other people kept to themselves and spent their time stressing over upcoming tests or, in the case of Ilona Laux-Antille, hiding from teachers.

When Tissaia joined Klara Larissa as a teacher at the academy after serving sixty-nine years under the king of Lyria, she was introduced to another new member to the staff, Vanielle of Brugge.

She was a recent graduate, new to the world of ascended mages and Tissaia found some relief in the fact that while she herself was new to teaching, at least she wouldn’t be the most inexperienced person there. 

Vanielle had quickly proved to be incredibly competent though and when Tissaia asked her how she was so good at it with so little experience Vanielle had explained how she, as the eldest daughter, had helped her mother with her younger sisters a lot when she was younger.

Tissaia had struggled to relate to that, as she had never been given the chance to do much of anything in her family and had often been disregarded to go do something where she couldn’t get in the way for the others. Therefore, in response to Vanielle’s words, Tissaia had simply nodded along awkwardly before excusing herself to go talk to someone who wouldn’t send her mind tumbling back to times when she had been Skylark from the farm down the road.

Their interactions had grown less awkward over time, as they both grew more comfortable in their roles as part of the staff, and Tissaia slowly adjusted herself to the gracefully poised presence of her fellow teacher. 

The first real change to their relationship happened one day when a Koviriran Wizard named Stregobor came to visit the school, going on and on about the superiority of men and their great prowess until finally, Tissaia snapped. She could only vaguely remember what exactly it was that she had told him, but it had been in the style of “I hope your mother is dead for her own sake, just so that she will never know what an insipid fool of a son she has been given.”

What she can remember as clear as day though, is the dumbfounded expression on his face as she finished and the gleeful expression on Vanielle’s. 

Vanielle had grabbed her arm when they left the staff meeting that evening, had mentioned how impressed she had been by what Tissaia had done earlier that day and that she had been hoping that someone would put him in his place ever since he arrived.

After that, it had become commonplace to see the two of them together. It was like an unspoken friendship had been formed between them and suddenly Tissaia started going to Vanielle’s rooms to complain about her day over a cup of tea every night and Vanielle started doing her marking in Tissaia’s office during their shared lunch breaks.

The girls had only just started gossiping about the nature of their relationship when Klara Larissa announced that she was resigning, making Tissaia the new Rectoress of Aretuza. 

This meant longer work hours, later nights spent worrying over which girls could fit with which kings and dealing with the constant pressure from The Chapter to do everything the way they wanted her to do it. 

Still Vanielle would wait with a cup of hot tea for her, the kind smile on her face a gentle reminder that there was still stability in the world.

Girls came and went and soon Tissaia and Vanielle were invited to join The Chapter. That night they had celebrated with wine and music that Vanielle had managed to create from thin air and suddenly Vanielle had her arms wrapped around her, their foreheads resting together and lips almost brushing. 

Tissaia still can’t remember who kissed the other first, just that Vanielle’s lips had been warm and soft against her own, tasting clearly of wine and something fruity that Tissaia even now can’t quite place.

What she does remember is how wonderful she felt that night as she got to explore Vanielle’s body properly for the first time and how adored she felt as Vanielle pressed kisses to every part of Tissaia’s body that she could reach.

Since that night they had never been apart for more than a couple of days at most, even then using all magic that they could access to keep from feeling lonely in the other’s absence.

Even when they argued the issue would often have been resolved by the end of the day, and Tissaia would be met in their shared rooms by Vanielle’s kind smile and a cup of tea. 

They would spend the night together, exchanging lazy kisses and whispered words of affection into the late hours when they’d fall asleep, legs tangled together and bodies pressed close.

As Tissaia stands in the empty room now, she realises how big it is. It’s cold without Vanielle there, without the sound of humming as she prepared their tea or the groans of “Can’t we sleep in for once, Tissy?”

She almost flinches at the memory as her eyes move towards the bed that is far too large and cold for a single person. They should have stayed in together more often.

Her eyes move around the room, each part of the room reminding her over and over again of everything that she has lost at Sodden.

The realisation that she will never be met with Vanielle’s warm smile still hasn’t quite settled in and she still spends her lunch breaks in Vanielle’s old office. 

No one else has been offered the position, because letting someone take the job would mean accepting that she will never get Vanielle back, and that is unthinkable.

She knows that things can’t go on like this and that she should let Margarita take up the position of Rectoress sooner rather than later if she wants the school to survive. Still, even as she shivers in the imagined chill of her beloved room the thought of leaving this, the only thing she has left of Vanielle, makes her head spin.

Tears brim in her eyes and she angrily wipes them away with her hands. She’s being ridiculous, she knows that, but for some reason her mind can’t process that Vanielle isn’t just waiting for her in her office or staying late with one of the girls to help her with some assignment that Tissaia has given them.

Vanielle dying also meant that the remains of her makeshift family is slowly falling apart. 

Philippa is distancing herself more and more with each passing day, Yennefer and Triss hardly speak to each other and Sabrina is growing angrier and angrier with each passing day. 

There is no longer balance in her life, and she wants to cry and scream and wreak havoc on the world for what it has done for her.

She will never fight for a king again. Will never pick a side in a war again and will never let anyone else get close to her. 

It has been centuries since she was alone like this and she will need to get readjusted. If she could be alone before Vanielle then she can manage to be alone after her too.

She closes her eyes, takes a deep breath and leaves the room, ignoring the way her heart screams for her to stay. 

Tissaia de Vries might be alone, but after this she refuses to feel lonely again, no matter what she has to do to ensure this.


End file.
